I Am MelissaRoshan
And I Am Not What I Appear To Be
I felt like a fraud, the way so many of us do. We worry we'll be "found out" for whatever burden we carry. Truth is, no matter how we try to avoid or ignore our bad experiences, we'll never realize our true gifts until we heal those invisible obstacles that cause us to quietly self sabotage or allow us to settle in our lives. No matter how much success comes your way, it will keep brewing underneath, getting in your way. I'm proof.
Here is my story...
I am the product of a violent rape. My mother was a 13-year-old girl who was violated by a man in his 50s.
I was raised by my abusive grandmother until the age of 10 when a neighbor witnessed her beat me with a pair of BBQ tongs and called the police. I was then placed in foster care bounced between care and going back with my grandmother for many years. By age 15 I had lived in 23 different homes--foster homes, group homes. Constantly changing schools. Constantly wishing for love and a family. Experiencing horrible emotional, physical and sexual abuse along the way. No one wanted to adopt me. I was a burden.
Unprepared for the world, by 17, I was homeless with an infant, but luckily found a shelter with one last available bed.
I was determined to give my son a better life. One day while shopping for diapers a woman approached me and asked if I'd ever considered modeling. Next thing I knew I was traveling the country doing photo shoots and walking on runways. I was suddenly the beautiful woman in the photograph that everyone admired, desired or envied.
The survival skills I learned in foster care came in handy during modeling. Acting "normal" and pretending that everything is OK when the social worker visits isn't unlike hiding behind make-up and beautiful clothes and pretending everything is OK. I had never addressed my childhood trauma. I tried to push it down and ignore it. Whether I liked it or not, a day of reckoning was coming.
The pain became too much to bear. I found myself standing on a bridge looking down. I couldn't take it anymore. It was time to say goodbye.
Then I felt a woman's hand in mine. "Don't do it," she pleaded. I was taken to a psychiatric hospital where for the first time I began to address the wounds of my childhood. Healing my past has been like peeling back the layers of an endless onion, but I keep on going.
You see, I am living proof that if you haven't healed trauma and bad experiences, no amount of success or riches will erase it. You will never become the complete, successful person you were meant to be. Walking around unhealed, there was no way I could ever be truly happy, have positive relationships or enjoy my early modeling success.
That's why I am so passionate about inspiring others and passing along tools to address their unresolved pain head-on. Whether you experienced abuse, a bad divorce, or carry other unresolved issues, they will always be an invisible obstacle preventing the full realization of your authentic, beautiful self. You must heal the trauma to unmask true beauty.
Speaking / Presenting Topics
Beauty & Healing
At-Risk Youth Mentorship
Foster Youth Advocacy
Overcoming Domestic Violence
& Teen Dating Violence